Motherhood at its finest…

As I mentioned in my first post I am a single mother…

I like to think I am quite good at single motherhood but today is not a good day. Today the kids are driving me f#$&ing crazy. Today I wonder if my New Year’s resolution should be no children. If I had a device that could count how many times a day I say the word “no” or the phrase “because I said so” I would probably break it. I feel a little ragged today because of these little monsters.

I was 19 years old and living with my parents when I got pregnant with my daughter. Break up sex. When my parents found out we were never worried about what I was going to do. I was born with more maternal instinct than anyone should have… its been a curse in my search for the perfect man but more on that later. Lu’s donor (as we call him since he has NO part in her life) told me to have an abortion when I was 8 months pregnant. Seriously, I have horrible taste in men. The donor gave me the most beautiful baby girl in the world. She is seriously perfect in every way… except for her inability to listen these days but that isn’t entirely her fault.

I was 23 years old and in a really crappy relationship when I got pregnant with my son. My parent’s HATED this idea… they hate my ex more now and are grateful for the perfect little man we have now. My ex was/is a meth, cocaine, and heroin addict. I have smoked pot once in my life and threw up for two hours. I was very naive to the drug world. I didn’t know the signs and I truly believed with my whole heart that this guy would get better and kick his habit for us….

Two and a half years later I had to leave my home with my kids and the bare necessities. I was lucky enough to have a friend with a spare room and an understanding husband. I am forever indebted to my friends for their hospitality and their¬†generosity. That being said living here has been quite a learning experience. My advice to you is that any time you are going to have different parenting methods merge that it should be discussed at LENGTH ahead of time. I am a person who thrives on structure there for my children thrive on it as well… this household does not what so ever… its a little frustrating….

I should be getting out on my own again soon and cannot wait to reign in my kids again and maybe find a little structured sanity.

Anyhow, Happy New Year to my few readers! May 2013 bring nothing but joy!




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