Holding on… to what?

I can’t focus on a damn thing… we are broken up. We are not together. We have been for about a month now.

I cannot get you out of my head. I cannot stop smelling you in passing. I cannot stop hearing you in my head. I cannot stop my heart from loving you. I cannot stop the tears from streaming down my face. I cannot stop.

My biggest fear is that you will not come back to me, that you will stop loving me. I deserve to be loved. Am I so in love with you that I won’t be able to let someone else love me? You have a job that you could very well lose your life doing. Could I never see you again? Never feel you again? Never hear you again? These fears consume my thoughts. Consume me.

Am I in love with a man who doesn’t love me? Are you pushing me away for my own benefit? Am I reading too much into all of this? Why?

Can someone please save me from myself. 

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2 thoughts on “Holding on… to what?

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